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broekINthoughtS
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Expertise: maryanne deloeste, i`m 14, i`m a girl, i go to granger jr. high school, i`m currently taken by ALLENGERALD LACSINA DELA CRUZ, i love playing basketball, being with the boyfriend & friends. nothing can be better! =)
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/14/2003
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| long fuckin gone...
i decided to blog here about something in particular, because this was
were i blogged most of my shit before, and now i guess i'll blog for my
last and final time. i started here and hell, i'm gonna end it here. i
wonder whos gonna read this shit, ha. it really doesn't matter, i just
wanna lay it all down and let everything fuckin out. na mean na mean?!
whatever, past is past and we all move on right? right. at first i was
wrong, and then i've recently proven to myself that i actually did move on. why so late? maybe because i thought i moved on from him, but then aparently i didn't.
at first it was a mistake to put someone in a position where it was unfair
to him, because it's been so long since i've had the feelings and it
all of a sudden it just comes back. yeah, and i apologize for it.
because for one, he shouldn't have been put through it. the feelings
should've been long fuckin gone, but i guess reminscing brought it all back.
'it's all just memories...' stitch&angel. 626&624. luwow02&03. 09aug02. 13july03. 17AUGUST2003.
another one of them days. sweethearts03&04. christmas03+many more. and i can finally leave
it as that. they mean nothing to me, but just memories. it now doesn't
hold that part of me.
no one ever forgets their first love, am i right? i should be. but sometimes it makes me question... 'was it love to begin with?'
i guess it was. cause if it wasn't, it wouldn't have caught my
attention after sooo long, to actually have feelings again. i just
don't understand, how i can have feelings when during the past
relationship i was just put through-lets just say alot. as selfish it may sound, i have. i blamed myself for all that went wrong,
telling you it was all my fault for all the arguments we had, and to
find out it hardly was even me. i mean, yeah i had my faults, but
majority of the time it was you. i gave up on one, because i still
wasn't over you. you still had a part of my heart, which i thought i
had back. but then i didn't. and now my heart is whole.
and given to someone who can handle it with care, and can actually
appreciate it; his name is christopher james soriano. i looooooove him
way too much, he defines contentment. he makes me feel wanted. gives me
that indescribable feeling. he's the one that holds my heart now. i've
opened myself up, i've let my guard down. and i truly feel that
satisfaction i've always wanted. and i thank you for that.
i'm glad i had a talk with you, because it helped me let go of everything. i've had the feelings, i've fixed everything and i've moved on. as hard as it is to believe, but i have.
there's nothing else to say, i'll leave it as that. and i can careless whoever reads this. THE PAST IS THE PAST, and i'm truly blessed and thankful-now-for having someone that loves me and that i can love back. | | |
| I`m giving up on you, I`m stronger & I`m moving on.
No need to dwell on the past. Whatever happens
happens. I don`t need you right now. I love how I`m
doing. So don`t mess me up.
I`ve read my passssst. and the entries are quite interesting.. It`s stupid, the past is the past. who givesss. I still love you, but everythings just different. & maybe I am happy... | | |
| I GOT SOMETHiNG >>> NEW <<< | | |
| time: 0411pm
subject: boredum bites
i`m so tired right now. i have nothing better to do. umm today just went to church saw ms. jenny & paula. after church just went to the mall really quick to return a shirt then it was off to L&L to get me a spam musubi. that`s bomb diggity. umm yeah & here i am at janes wonderful house, which is soo freakin hott. ahah yeah pretty much.
yesterday: me & jane were supposed to go to the DMV but didn`t get the chance to so i went over to my cousins house & watched the laker game! OMFG they lost by 2 points damnit. AHHH! umm allen was at the staple center watching it there. sucka asss. j.k but yeah i slept all day & whatnot. My 4-day weekend isn`t all that wonderful. due to some technical reasons. AHAH j.k me & my 'disfunctional family' man i`m gonna miss that. :\ aww well.. ahah yeah pretty much.
i don`t know what to say i`m just hellah bored. booooo umm everythings sorta back to normal. yeah well i think i`ll be done for now. so yeah kay bye cya later kids.
<3 I`M HOPING ALL GOES WELL
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| time: 0817pm
subject: everythings gone mad
weird time huh? booo i don`t know what to do anymore. it fuckin sucks soo badly. welll ummm i`m here at my mothers house & i`m watching the basketball game with LA & MiNNESOTA. lakers are going all the way baby. well at school today was just another stupid day. people pissing me off. blah blah blah. 'sucks when you know you`re fakin the funk, but deep down it hurts sooo bad.' augh yeah yeah yeah. well my friends have been there trying to keep me up & happy.. but sometimes it just won`t help. =/ blah blah blah. i don`t know what to do. i feel like i don`t need any of this anymore, but yet it`s like i need you.. grrrrr ='/
well i`ve been soo out of it lately. everythings going crazy with me. well we`re out of school in 3 weeks. & that`s little time. damnn sooo much is going on, esp. week of promotion. first comes finals on monday, tuesday & wednesday. thursday is our rehearsal then soak city. i think wednesday is our visit to sweetwater. hot damn, going to suhi with in the next month and half. awww that`s just weak. well yeah. it`s all sorta just stressing. at the time right now i feel like i need my friends. i`m sooo fuckin confused. can you blame me? augh, yeah i know i`m stupid i can never make my mind up. FUCK ALL OF THiS! well yeah i guess i`ll be out now. it`s enough for now. i`ll quit ranting. ya`ll don`t need to hear any of my drama...
</3 at the moment just wanting to get away. | | |
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